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Station 05

Anchale Ayngaranesan

From STATION 04

This is me healing, this is me discovering myself and this is me coming home. I am promising myself today with utmost certainty and merciless conviction that I am worthy of all the goodness and I will make out of the wreckage. I have survived for so long when survival was not even in the options and I deserve to be inspired by my own life. I will rebel against rape, right from now.

I release her from my transfix.

She smiles at me, with tears in her eyes and tells me she is going to tell her parents about what happened and be the face of rape victims.

5:00 PM.

...

STATION 05

Hello everyone! Happy HAPPY New year! I’ve had a kickass break in Sydney where I went to attend @injibiscuit’s pilot doodling workshop after which I also took an impromptu dive at the Great barrier reef. I got back to Delhi last night and so pumped for our next venture.

4:10 PM.

I’ve boarded the Shalimar express train to Jammu! Can you already guess what the destination isgoing to be?

From the number of trains, I have travelled on in the last couple of months, I should have been super sick of travellling, but I am loving the whole ‘train-and-people’ experience. I am so set to read the book @thepleatedbook now!

Two seats ahead of me a girl with an amazing figure wearing an elephant grey drop crotch jumpsuit sits talking on her phone in a language I do not understand. A teenage boy next to me looks at her and tells his friends, “Oh My God, did you see her face? She has beard and a moustache” loud enough for the whole compartment to her. This is followed by a roar of laughter.

The girl pretends to not hear the comments and the cascading laughter and stares out of the window. Tears brim in her eyes.

I am super shocked at how the young generation thinks they have a free pass to make heartless comments and I am thoroughly disappointed with the girl for not standing up for herself.

 

I begin to transfix my thoughts into her.

 

I was 15 when I started getting complications with my periods. I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovary Disorder (PCOD) and my hormones would always be imbalanced.  My menstrual cycle has never been a picnic with extremely painful cramps, acne, bloating, moods swings that would be triggered by watching a puppy video and facial hair.

I gained a lot of wait over the years and body shamed myself.

It’s taken me years to reduce my weight to a healthy level but all the stigma about periods remain unbroken.

I did not grow up to be this gorgeous version of myself to let people who do not understand humanity and science to pass comments in ignorance. I am not letting anyone shun me down or shun you down based on facial appearances and I will revolt and educate and create awareness. What makes it so shameful that you bleed from your uterus when it’s completely normal whenyou bleed from your nose?

If I had the choice to bleed and not bleed, I would choose to bleed and face the consequences and break stigmas, because my bleeding means something more than you.

In this world that teaches me to mask my pain and hide my feelings, I am giving myself permission to take up space and to be undeniably human.

And if you are going through what I go through, I see you and I hear you. Let’s break taboos, together and create ‘stare-free’ worlds with more of ‘I understand’ and ‘I will lend you my hand’.

 

As I remove the transfix, the girl walks up to the boy who commented on her and tells him “Do you want to tell me something, brother?”.

I smile and go back to reading @thepleatedbook

 

(To be continued)



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