Being “gay”. Oh wait, don’t cringe! When the dictionary says gay means “happy” and also a “homosexual man”, why would you think otherwise? Choosing to be whoever you want to be is all that matters because nothing trumps your happiness. Meeting Shankar and getting to hear his story was just about understanding how following your heart and standing up for yourself are the richest values in one’s life.
Meet Shankar… If you are wondering what’s coming next, haaaa! Put it to rest. Let’s start again….! Meet Shankar, a product manager, big time techie, blogger, human and what not? He’s just like any of us and unlike some of us. You would be wondering why? Courage is something that makes us question ourselves. The courage to face our own realities, to lay out our desires and to put our thoughts straight. Shankar did none of this right at first too. But he didn’t stop there. It took him sometime, may be all the time to gather every ounce of his strength and tell the world how happy he was to be “gay” and “cheerful” rather than have a “straight” approach towards life and love.
Coming out to friends and on Social Media:
How does someone understand they are Gay? This is one question that most people ponder about. Well, just like how you look at someone from the opposite sex and feel the attraction, it is just the same. Shankar knew about what he wanted in life right from his school days. When he moved to college, he was able to confront his emotions better but he still struggled. One fine day, he decided to confide in his best friend about what he was feeling and that was his first “coming out” experience. Since then, he has openly voiced out his sexuality to his friends and on Facebook/blogs. None of this would have been possible if not for all the courage he mustered and for the life experiences. In 2013, he came out via a Facebook post which he later took down due to an emotional outburst. But heyyy! If you would like to give it a read, it is still available on his Medium profile. You have to get to the end of this article for the link! *wink*
The Toughest and the Best experience:
Out of the many blogs that Shankar has written, one important point was emphasized. “Tell your parents about how you feel”. Would you agree if we say that voicing out our inner feelings to our parents would be the toughest thing to do? Confronting a friend and telling him/her that you are Gay wouldn’t involve so much of emotional turmoil. Because you know at the end of the conversation, they are probably going to understand you. That’s how friends are right? But what about calling your dad and telling him that you need to talk about something important? Shooooott! That’s absolutely some RED ALERT! And Shankar was the BOSS! That’s what he did. Although the first trial didn’t go as planned. He went ahead and opened out to his father. What a brave heart! How did his father react to this? Nope! Not yet. We will give it away in the end. The answers lie in his blog!
Being “Gay” is not a phase. It is a feeling!
Oh yeah! Some people might think that “Being Gay” is a phase. Eventually people get over it and move on with their lives, get married and have children. Why can’t gay couple fall in love? Get married? Adopt children? And live a happy life as any straight human would? The problem is in our heads. The way we look at things, the way we perceive a lifestyle. Being gay is a feeling just like how being straight is. Choosing to embrace your inner self and honouring your feelings is way more important than what the society thinks about you. Your happiness matters than the happiness of the world. If the right people come by, they will understand you and respect you. You are no different from other people for being “Gay”. You are just as amazing as you are. Don’t let anyone say otherwise. And if you ever doubt yourself, if you ever feel down, if you ever feel left out, if you ever feel depressed…. Go ahead and read this : Shankar’s story – A page from his Diary!
This Facebook post changed everything for him. This blog changed the way for atleast 100s of people who didn’t understand the LGBT people. And it will do so for you too.
Looking for help?
Go online or to a library and grab the book “It gets better” by Dan Savage and Terry Miller to know more about the LGBT community and how to handle your feelings if you are one among them. If you are located in and around Chennai, you can reach out to the local LGBT community, Orinam, for help.
Hey Shankar! Meeting you was a PRIDE in itself! Keep colouring the world and make a huge difference.